A 22-year-old relationship coach from Toronto is going viral for telling women to do the exact opposite of what they think they should during “no contact” – and honestly, she might be onto something.
Liv Merima has built up over 170,000 followers across her social platforms, and her latest TikTok is showing exactly why. The video’s racked up more than 20,000 likes and over 5,000 saves, with women sharing it like crazy in their group chats.
Here’s the thing: Merima isn’t telling you to wait by your phone or count the days. She’s saying something that sounds almost cruel at first – you need to be completely fine with never hearing from them again.
“The most attractive thing you can do while being in no contact and make this man go crazy for you, not hearing from you, listen up,” Merima says in the viral video.
“Number one, get to a headspace where you are okay if you never speak to this individual ever again. I know it sounds contradicting. I know it sounds scary, but that’s the level of detachment you have to be in.”
The host of “Busy Glowing Up” podcast (which has over 500 five-star reviews on Spotify and Apple, by the way) gets brutally honest about why most women get this wrong.
“You do not want to be in waiting energy hoping that they’re going to text you checking your phone 24/7,” she says. “It’s not attractive. It does not feel good and it does not inspire that man to think about you and miss you like crazy.”
Then she drops this story about a client that had everyone in the comments shook.
“I had a client who was in a very similar situation. She booked one call with me. We got really clear on what version of herself she has to embody. And not only did he reach out after two weeks of doing the work, but they are now in a committed long-term relationship because we also created the sense of urgency.”
But here’s where Merima separates herself from every other dating coach on TikTok: “Getting him to reach out is not enough. We want the whole package deal.”
Her second tip is about not losing your mind while you’re waiting (or rather, not waiting).
“Other thing is regulate your nervous system. You do not want to spend every single day being triggered and stressed out about what’s currently going on,” she explains. “This can be going to the gym, going for a walk, doing breath work, meditation, EFT tapping, whatever it is that can get you to place where you can be present in the moment.”
The third part hits different, especially if you’ve been stuck in that cycle of accepting less than you deserve.
“Number three is raising your standards and expectations and love. Just because this one person is not giving you the love that you are looking for does not mean that you’re not worthy or deserving,” Liv Merima says.
“I want you to get into a headspace where if not them, someone else, because I know that I am worthy of that.”
She wraps it up with this: “Get into a version of yourself where getting the commitment that you want, having people adore you, love you, treat you with respect is not unrealistic. That is your standard, and that is only what you are going to settle for.”
The comments are gold. “The law of detachment works ✨,” one woman wrote, and dozens of others liked it in agreement. Another kept it simple: “Silence is golden 👌😊😊”
Our favorite? Someone who’d clearly been through it: “It’s sad that they reach out when we don’t care… like no bro your trail has ended. Thank you, next.”
One commenter nailed what Merima’s really saying: “When you’re doing no contact, you should actually be focussing on yourself and not thinking about that other person.”
What’s refreshing about Liv Merima is she’s not selling some complicated system or magic text messages. She’s basically telling women to level up so much that they forget why they were even checking their phone in the first place. While most dating coaches focus on tactics and games, she’s out here talking about identity transformation and nervous system regulation – stuff that actually changes how you show up in relationships.
