The introduction of No fault divorce laws in April 2022 has fundamentally changed the divorce process in England and Wales, however, if you are going through a divorce and have children, you will still need to consider child care arrangements and how you will navigate co-parenting now that you have separated from your spouse. This can feel like a lot, so, in this guide, we’ve included some key tips on how to manage it all.
Making child care arrangements
Making plans on where children will live following your divorce is a stressful and emotional experience for most. All divorces are different. If you have been able to separate relatively amicably, then reaching an agreement on where you children will live will be much easier. Perhaps your children will live with one parent for half of the week, and the other parent, for the other half of the week. How you will reach these decisions will be based on the best interests of the children, and them being able to have contact and time with both parents.
In some cases, communication can be difficult between former spouses and you may need the support of a third-party service like mediation, where both parents will have the opportunity to put their thoughts across, with a mediator helping you reach a mutual agreement. Mediation is typically less costly than going to court and is often a speedier process too. If you are unable to decide on child care arrangements through mediation or other means, then your case will go to court where a final decision will be made.
Tips for effective co parenting
In the immediate aftermath of a divorce, the idea of coparenting can seem daunting. You may have reservations and even fears, but in the absence of domestic or substance abuse, maintaining bonds with both parents is important for children. Bearing this in mind as you begin to co-parent can help you make the best decisions for your children.
Over time, it will become easier to separate the relationship you had with your ex, to the relationship they have with your child. Instead of focusing on your relationship, your new focus with your ex-spouse will be based purely on the needs and best interests of your children.
By communicating well, being flexible, and understanding both parents will be able to raise secure, consistent parenting with children who become confident, and learn from their parents how to sort out problems and cooperate with other people effectively.
Seeking support
Becoming a co parent is a big change. You have gone from a two-parent family, to being a single parent in a short space of time. It can take time to adjust, financially, emotionally and practically. During this time, while also focusing on the needs of your children, it is crucial for them and for yourself, to ensure you are looking after your own needs too.
It can be easy to neglect yourself by not eating well, not exercising enough and focussing on the negatives. All of this is detrimental to your emotional and physical well-being, and if you are not looking after yourself feeling great, your children may be able to pick up on this. Make sure you are putting time aside to relax, stay fit and stay connected to your friends and family.
Conclusion
Going through a divorce when there are children involved can feel overwhelming. However, understanding what your options are and finding a way to work together constructively with your ex, you will be able to offer your children balanced, valuable and supportive parenting.
Learn more about No fault divorce laws and how they have changed the divorce process in England and Wales.
